Firstly, thanks so much for providing this resource. It means an awful lot to someone not knowing which way to turn.
I’ve been off work due to ‘work stress’ for the last few days - the reality, which my employer knows, is that I’ve been unable to concentrate on my technical coding work since events which occurred 2 weeks ago. They also know that I’m suffering from emotional distress and insomnia, and can’t stop ruminating on the above. I’m sorry this is a long post, but would really, really appreciate any thoughts, advice or guidance:
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I’ve worked for a large law firm since 2024 (and previously worked for them for 15 years). They have a hybrid working policy and a discretionary annual bonus policy, and the two have never been directly and unequivocally linked until now. The new position is that any failure to fully comply with the hybrid working policy will make employees ineligible for the bonus scheme. Prior to this, suggestions were made in emails from managers that lack of compliance “may significantly reduce” bonus. At the end of June, the firm announced individual bonuses for the financial year ending April 2026 and I was told I’d receive nothing as I’d only partially complied - despite being paid a full bonus for the previous financial year in the same circumstances.
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When I joined the firm in 2024, it quickly became obvious that the job I’d accepted was already being done by another, disconnected team who did not expect this to change. I raised the issue and made some progress with this team, but ultimately, received no support from management to resolve the situation. So I found other ways to add value by bringing technical input to projects, and ended up with an impossibly large workload. I also raised this with management who promised more resource but never provided it. Tight deadlines meant I had to take advantage of my ability to hyperfocus on technical tasks and work extremely long hours (including weeks of unpaid overtime) which I could only do from home. The office floor is 100% hotdesks and it’s usually difficult or impossible to find a desk. It’s also noisy, hot and bright, a long commute from my home, and there are no fixed office days (so the chances of teammates being in the office on the same day are slim).
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I flagged this to my line manager a few months into the role, when the technical side of my job increased, workload grew and my office days started to decline. For the first time since diagnosis, I chose to disclose my ADHD - mostly because I felt I had to and I trusted the employer’s very heavily-promoted commitment to inclusion. Our subsequent reasonable adjustments conversation only resulted in noise-cancelling headphones/suggestions to work on another floor in a one-person ‘focus room’, which we agreed would make being in the office pointless.
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My line manager moved to another role soon after and my technical workload continued to grow, still with no additional resource provided. I was given an interim manager who was too senior to have time to engage with his reports. I continued to work on projects with teams who never queried my ability to decide where best to work on any given day, depending on the task in hand: I organised in-office workshops and went into the office whenever asked to by others, working from home when delivering techical work which needed solo focus. My office attendance wasn’t raised by anyone until after the end of the financial year, and then only to talk about reasonable adjustments. Neither performance nor bonus were discussed.
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When I heard the firm’s decision about last year’s bonus, I was shocked and disgusted, and emailed HR to say how and why this was unfair. They replied after a few days, very frankly acknowledging my consistently high-quality, high-volume work output and great relationships with colleagues despite challenging circumstances - but stated (for the first time) that bonus eligibility depended on full hybrid working compliance, and that bonus is discretionary anyway.
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I responded, saying that this eligibility point had never been stated/previous communications suggested otherwise/they knew the bulk of my work had become technical and that I could only deliver it from home/I’ve been open with them throughout and they’ve let me continue without raising office attendance levels with me. Ultimately, I said that I believe their hybrid working/bonus policies contradict their inclusion policy - and that the former policies indirectly discriminate against me and others in my position because they place me at a disadvantage due to ADHD.
I’ve been waiting for their reply since last Wednesday and have only been told that they’ve referred the matter to an in-house lawyer. I’m sick with worry over the whole thing and to some degree, wish I’d never reacted. Then on the other hand, the injustice I feel isn’t something I can brush under the carpet. I feel like an idiot for trusting them.
I haven’t felt able to tell my family or friends about my diagnosis, so unfortunately don’t have anyone to talk to about this outside of work. I’m feeling worse as time passes rather than better, and I don’t know whether to seek legal advice, mental health support and/or trust my employer’s ‘employee assistance programme’ etc. Thanks so much for reading.