Hello all, this is my first post so I’m a little nervous, especially as I’m starting with a very moany topic 
I guess I should say I’m female, aged 48, and newly diagnosed. My job is social worker, and I care for my physically disabled husband. Everything is my responsibility.
I’ve arranged fun day / overnights out for me and my best friend. I’ve asked her to suggest and arrange things she wants to do, but she never does. She will make meals for my birthday and and help me pack when I move, so it’s not that she doesn’t put energy into the relationship.
My thing is she never does any arrangements unless it’s in the comfort of her own home. This extends to getting home after an outing, when she inevitably asks me to book her a taxi (which she pays for, but just won’t do for herself).
Now she has suggested an outing, something I want to do with her. She just didn’t do anything about it. Now I procrastinate horribly with doing things, but I get extremely anxious if plans are left hanging. I can’t cope with the uncertainty. Is that an ADHD trait, or just me? So, I looked up the tickets and informed her of the prices. Once we agreed a price level, I get a message back saying let me know when you’ll be booking the tickets and I’ll transfer the money over.
Now I feel conflicted. Yesterday she made me a lovely meal and we had a fantastic day. But as soon as I saw the message, I felt annoyed and resentful. I guess it’s because she’s not the only one asking me to do things.
Any advice on how to adjust to this? She really is a good friend to me, so I feel like I want to find a way to get to grips with who she is. That said, if she tells me one more time that she doesn’t understand how her ADHD son (adult) goes without a shower or brushing his teeth, I might explode!
I hope someone here can give me some advice. I’m not ungrateful for what she has done for me, I just don’t react well to her just expecting me to do things