Hi, it’s my first post here and I was hoping to ask for advice.
Obviously this won’t be an unfamiliar issue to any of you, but it seems I’ve tried every technique out there to improve my time management and none of them make a difference. The simplest things stretch on for hours and if I commit to any activity it usually takes up most of the day. I do procrastinate sometimes, but when I don’t procrastinate then I barely get any more done than when I do. I had to spend three days just cleaning my room recently and I can barely keep up with the news because it takes me all day to read a few articles. I’m unmedicated (I had a bad experience with medication) and I have autism as well in case that’s relevant.
I’ve tried timing myself on tasks (I don’t finish them in the time limit, then I get even more distracted because I’m stressed about missing the time), dividing tasks into blocks with time allocated (I don’t finish the tasks in time and then that messes up the rest of the schedule). I’ve tried being less perfectionist, but it still takes extremely long to do things and sometimes deciding what details to ignore can become its own form of time waster. I’ve tried the 10/3 rule, which helps me focus more consistently but my pace of work is still really slow. I’ve tried using caffeine but that usually makes it worse rather than better.
So is there something I’m missing here? By this point I could reel off a very long list of time management techniques I’ve read about, which work fine for other people but seem to make no difference for me. I’m almost 30 and I work a minimum wage job because I can’t handle the slightest amount of responsibility. It feels like I have zero agency over my life and there’s no relationship between the effort I put in and the outcome.
Hi. So, I will assume you been diagnosed because of the bad medication experience.
I don’t do the 10/3 rule anymore but here are some of my suggestions while doing tasks indoor:
- Buy a noise cancelling headphone.
- Listen to some Lofi and binaural music.
Other recommendations:
- PARA method. The goal is to do as much as possible before replacing the old checklists.
- If you are in a hyperfocus mode, don’t break it with the 10/3 rule.
- Drink water after a caffeine intake because, dehydration break concentration.
Best of luck.
Hi there. I relate so much to this! I don’t know whether you’ve heard Dirty Laundry by Roxanne Emery and Richard Pink? Listening to it was so helpful for me, it was so relatable! Especially the time blindness stuff and the constantly losing things! Personally I find setting alarms really helpful for me. I set alarms at intervals before important meetings or appointments etc. I also have a smart watch which (when I actually remember to wear and charge it lol) is really helpful for setting reminders and alerts etc. Also I think acceptance is important! Our ADHD brains are wired differently, to us time is either “now” or “never”. Time is a human construct in essence, we are not wired in the same way as neurotypical people, and sadly we have to orientate in a neurotypical world not built for us. I have a Me+ subscription which helps me stick to tasks at certain times, and I also have found ADHD Coaching and medication super helpful. Most importantly, I think it’s necessary to share a reminder to be kind to yourself. Believe me, I have been there, sometimes we have the worst inner critic. And it doesn’t help when others are not understanding either. No matter how early I try and be, I am late more often than not. I hate it so much, it’s so stressful. Yet even tricking my own brain isn’t enough, as it outsmarts me in my own attempts to trick it into being better time orientated. I can imagine that it feels really overwhelming right now and I really hope that you have some support in your life. I wonder whether you have spoken with your GP at all, or an ADHD coach, a psychiatrist etc.? I am sorry to hear that you had a bad experience with medication. Personally I cannot have stimulants so I don’t know whether you have had non-stimulants, or maybe neither worked for you. I don’t know if you’ve heard of Drug Free ADHD but I found the guy who runs it really inspiring. He cannot have medication either, and shares his own experiences in his podcast/subscribed emails of how he has found lots of strategies to help with his own ADHD. I think also sometimes we find things works and then after sometime they stop working. It can feel like a never ending battle with ourselves. I think it’s important to set manageable goals for yourself, set rewards, and be kind to yourself. You will get there! I hope this helps you a little!